December 23, 2015

Happy Festivus! The Airing of Grievances

Those of you who know me, know how I feel about xmas (not spelling it out and keeping it lowercase should give you a clue - Bah, Effing, Humbug!).

The only good thing is that it's close to Festivus and its tradional airing of grievances.  I rant a lot throughout the year, here, on twitter, and on my blog dedicated solely to rants, and this day is specially made for it, so without furter ado, here is my top 10 list of baseball related grievances:


  1. Hall of Fame voters who are idiots. You know who you are. Don't. Even. Get. Me. Started!
  2. It's a double. Or an automatic double. Or a bookrule double. But THERE'S NO GODDAMN GROUND-RULE FOR A BALL THAT HOPS OVER THE WALL which grants the batter a double. So, please stop calling it a ground-rule double. 
  3. People who complain that professional athletes get paid too much money, and they can't afford to buy tickets.  There is no relationship between the two! You just sound bitter that you are underpaid and/or don't know how to manager your finances. Don't blame the players for your woes in life. 
  4. People who are ecstatic when their team signs or trades for someone and when that player has a down year want the GM fired for making such an obviously stupid mistake. Look in the mirror if you're not sure to whom I am referring.
  5. People who complain about MLB umpiring. Have you watched any football games? Or NBA?
  6. People who think there is no parity in baseball.
  7. Fans who don't trust WAR or any other advanced metric because it's too complicated.  You know what stat is really complicated? Batting Average!
  8. I haven't watched baseball in over a month, and ptichers and catchers don't report for another 56 days! Why can't there be a November to February baseball league? This is probably the real reason I hate this time of year... it's approaching the baseball solstice.
  9. People who always make lists of 10.  There is no magic in that number, so I'm making this a top nine list! Harrumph.
HAPPY FESTIVUS!

In the spirit of the holiday, feel free to donate to this worthy cause. You will NOT receive a tax receipt or any other form of acknowledgment other than the warm and fuzzy feeling that you'll get from making a random baseball blogger happier.
Actually, if anybody actually goes through with this, you'll get a shoutout on twitter. And if you give enough I may even follow you.

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